So, this morning I stumbled upon the McSweeney’s feature “Open Letters to People or Entities Who are Unlikely to Respond.”
If the title isn’t explanatory enough, the feature is a chance for ordinary folk like you and I to sound off about quite nearly anything in the form of a public letter.
Addressees of said letters range from Cambridge University Press and the Eight-Hour Workday to the Across-the-Street Neighbor Who Always Does His Yard Work in His Scrubs and Foie Gras.
A personal favorite:
AN OPEN LETTER
TO MY LOCAL NEWSPAPER
WITH ADVICE FOR WHEN IT RUNS
ITS NEXT TWO-PAGE PHOTO
SPREAD ON THE BEAUTIFUL
COLORS OF THE SEASON.
February 19, 2007
Dear Editors,
Print the photos in color.
Sincerely,
Frank Ferri
I’m fascinated by this idea and am inspired to write my own letter—which I will do shortly. In the meantime, who would be the real or imagined, concrete or abstract, inanimate or animate addressee of your letter?
Some of my own would include an open letter to . . .
~the cat who watches me sleep at night from his perch on the bookshelf.
~the person in my apartment elevator who lets their dog slobber on my feet.
~the em dash—regarding my undying love for your careful navigation of the literary need that arises when the dramatic full stop of a period is excessive and the slight pause of a comma is insufficient.
~William Willett, the man who first proposed the convention of Daylight Saving Time.
-to the construction guys working on the ugly condo across the street and 6 a.m. and take up all the street parking with their huge equipment in my residential neighborhood.
- the Washington weather to put in a request for an early snowfall so that I might properly use the new boots sitting in the closet.
Give me a little more time amber and I’m sure I will find my list of People/Objects to Write Letters To.
Comment by Jessica — November 8, 2007 @ 5:06 pm |
Ok, I love that you included the em-dash.
Whichever member of the spousal unit who lives above me watches tv at 2 a.m.
The block of feta I have left in my fridge too long
My space heater, whom I adore.
Comment by Veronica — November 25, 2007 @ 6:27 pm |